Susan came down with a cold with Sunday night. With the temperatures of yesterday that was not good. Fortunately it seems to be improving. We did not do the usual walking around outside all day that might have worsened her health.

Today was to be an education for the children and us. We left for the school in time to be there to record several boys playing their saxophones for Jacob Macbeth. That done, I was coaxed into playing a game of indoor soccer with Stan, Toli and some other boys. At my first stretch for the ball within 10 seconds of beginning I pulled a muscle in my calf. It was unthinkable to shame the boys by exiting that soon from the game, so I toughed it out for another 45 minutes or so. I felt bad because the boys were probably hoping they would have a dad with 45 years of soccer experience who could make them proud. Rather, they have a fat, gimpy old man.

After I had cooled down Susan invited the children to go with us to the little store behind the school. On our way back to the school with our treats Dasha began giving Toli a tongue-lashing that escalated to a shouting match, a chase and quite an altercation. This was a side of Dasha to which we had not yet been exposed. What was it all about? Who was out of control there? We wanted and even briefly tried to quell the conflict, but Dasha was not finished. Eventually, Toli skulked away out of sight by himself. When Susan asked Dasha what had happened she explained it in clear Ukrainian exasperation. So the mystery remained. We soon found Natalie, our interpreter, and asked her to inquire of Dasha regarding the confrontation. Evidently Toli had said some bad words. His sweet behavior had changed while at the other orphanage the past few months. Dasha was not going to have it and was trying to rein him in. Exactly what she told him can only be imagined, with their long hoped-for parents right there witnessing this and the children’s future apparently hanging in the balance. Meanwhile, Stan had tried to intercede and defuse the situation. He tried to indicate to us that it was no big deal. Susan and I went around behind the school building to find Toli. On the one hand we wanted to let him know we love him. Alternatively, we were willing to let him feel the heat of Dasha’s diatribe for a period of time. When Toli saw us coming he headed out of sight.

From this encounter we learned some significant things about their personalities and the family dynamic that has existed over the past years. Dasha, primarily, and Stan to some extent have been trying to keep this family threesome together. Others have expressed that they are the benchmark for sibling closeness at the orphanage.

We had Natalie explain to Dasha what our standards are with respect to foul language and that we will not allow it. We soon hugged and expressed our love for her. As we were about to leave for the day Dasha asked, “You come tomorrow?” We surmised that she was concerned that the conflagration today would dissuade us from accepting them into our family. We answered emphatically, “Yes! Every day!”

Toli had shown up again and was venturing closer to us as he played ball. We saw Natalie approach him and hopefully tell him what we had asked her to convey: that we do not tolerate bad language in our home. After we felt that statement had been made we wanted to let him know that we love him, and did so.

This was an eye-opener to the potential problems we could encounter when we get home with the language barrier. We do have some resources to call on if (when) it does happen.