We had difficulty trying to post a blog last Monday due to an old breaking-down computer system at the internet café in Kiev. Then there were other problems preventing a successful posting on Wednesday. But here is the latest, the first part of which was sent in a letter to family to inform them of our impending arrival in the US.


Monday, 7 April 2007

Good news!! We got the children's visas this morning and have arranged to fly home on Tuesday. The scheduled arrival is 10:19 pm on Delta flight 631. Susan, Natalie and Jennifer went to the embassy after we received a call informing us things were ready for completion there because they had a couple of things to take care of in town and I wanted to remain behind to call Delta to re-schedule our reservations and add the children's. Besides, we had been told last Friday that only one parent needed to pick the visas. When they arrived at the embassy, however, they learned that the signatures of both parents were required. Meanwhile, I had failed to get as far as a Delta agent on the phone. So the boys and I caught a taxi and everything worked out fine at the embassy (amazing!). We left in exultation needing only to work with Delta. We would grab lunch to celebrate and then I would call. Just before we boarded the subway I asked Susan to give me credit card she was carrying so I could use it to pay for the reservations. The subway was packed and I was the last person on. We were to get off at the first stop. Just as the doors opened I realized that my wallet was missing. The perpetrator was out and invisible in the masses. Natalie called the police to report it. We headed for an internet café so I could get the phone numbers to report the two stolen credit cards. I reported them stolen and called Delta to set up reservations. Susan and I had each brought a credit card to use if necessary. Up to that point they had been needed. On the last day, just before their need, they were gone and unusable. We attempted to use another credit card left at home, but if the tickets are paid for within 5 days of departure it is required to present the actual card with identification. We spent the next several hours trying to make arrangements to get money here. It was not working out in time, so I called my dear mother who is bailing us out. Regardless, we are happy and excited to be on our way. We thank all - family and friends for untiring support and prayers. It has not been easy, but it has been good. There have been miracles along the way. We are certain there are more in store. Yet there are many challenges ahead, especially for the children. They are concerned about the language and making friends. We know the people on the other end and feel confident that the children will be in good hands in the family, the ward, and hopefully at school. THANKS AGAIN AND OUR LOVE TO ALL!!!


Tuesday, 8 April 2007

We were picked up by Vladimir and a taxi driver at 7:30 am to go to the airport. The Delta office in the airport was about 4-feet square. The computer system was of about the same vintage as its counterpart in the downtown Kiev office, with an added feature of the printer’s inoperability. After about 45 minutes the agent was still unable to print the tickets. Since yesterday Susan had encouraged me to stop asking what else could go wrong. Nevertheless, I continued to wonder. Finally, another agent escorted us through the initial security gate to the passport check area where tickets could hopefully be printed.

It was at this point that the umbilical cord between Natalie and the children was cut and we could again begin the process of communicating directly with them. Natalie was a well-trained and excellent translator. Whenever she heard English it was immediately translated and passed to the receiver, and the same with Ukrainian. However, she unwittingly became a crutch to the children when she was with us and the bond we had developed earlier as we were forced to communicate with them in some way had deteriorated. Almost immediately, the children sensed the change and began again to try to communicate with us in English.

By the time we got through the line to the passport check, to our tremendous relief our tickets were indeed printed and handed to us. To our amazement we made it through the passport check without a glitch. In fact, all went very smoothly from then on. But, we were nervous at the time and anxious to board the plane and make it to the other side of the Atlantic. Once we got that far, there would be many more options if something went wrong.

As each step was passed there was a collective sigh of relief. We made it through the check of our adoption papers and then through final security. If the plane actually took off we would stand a very good chance of crossing the Atlantic.

We were assigned seats together in one row. Jennifer and Toli had never flown and were nervous about how it would affect them. To our further relief, the plane did take off. After the initial surge upward, Jennifer looked at us and indicated that she had enjoyed that part of the ride. From then on we enjoyed a sense of family and unity. Reality was sinking in for the children and it seemed to be a pleasant one. Toli did admirably well in the eleven hours on the plane, considering his usual apparent inability to stay in one place for more than a few minutes.

Once we landed in New York, the children began reading aloud signs in English. There was a revival of joviality among us as we made rough attempts at the other’s language. As we were passing through security there like greased pigs I bumped into a friend from work returning from Europe with his wife. We passed pleasantly through immigration where the children became American citizens and then through customs. There was ample time to do what was necessary and make it to the departure gate in time.

The next stop was Atlanta. There would be no further rigor through which we had to pass. All was well. We had a short layover in Atlanta, but made it comfortably to the departure gate there without a rush. We met Justin and Jo Sorenson who had been in our ward. They would be on the same flight to SLC.

The flight arrived in SLC a half hour early. As we approached the escalator to descend to the baggage area we heard shrieks of excitement and claims of sightings from below. Almost of our immediate and extended family in the valley were there, along with Macbeths, Diddles, Dodges and Garretts, who all had adopted within the past year. There were welcome signs, balloons and calls to each of our new children. We were overwhelmed emotionally by the presence of so many. We exchanged hugs and thanked each one. The reunion there lasted probably over an hour. How sweet the feeling of being home!

We drove home, introduced the children to the home, especially their bedrooms, and unpacked. At about 1:30 am we all retired to our soft beds. The children had been worried about adjusting to the 9-hour time difference. After a little undecipherable (to us) discussion among themselves, the children settled down for the night.


Wednesday, 9 April 2007

We all arose fairly early in the morning to our new life together – at home. The children had adjusted to the time shift. Stan was shown how to operate the riding mower. We all worked in the yard, kicked the soccer ball around, and enjoyed getting to know one another through the day. I obtained a new driver’s license. We ate dinner that my sister, Cindi, had prepared. There is almost a sense of normalcy about it all. I will return to work tomorrow.

Already the trials of this forty days’ and forty nights’ adventure have been obscured by the long-awaited return home with these three heaven-sent gifts. In the long road ahead there will undoubtedly be rough spots. We will swerve to miss some and be rattled, jolted and thrown out of alignment by others. But we will make it – together, with the great family and friends around us -- with the Lord’s help.

We learned Friday evening that the boys' visas had not been issued. So none of us could have left for home on Saturday.

We were very tired after the ordeal of Friday and slept in a bit on Saturday. Late Saturday morning we met the Dodges for a subway ride into the city for souvenir shopping. It was a beautiful day for being outdoors. After a few hours at the street market we all went to a Ukrainian kitchen restaurant and stuffed ourselves, especially the children. It was enjoyable watching them pick out what they wanted. We had no idea Stan and Toli could eat so much. And then they went back for more. Toli had a stomach ache Sunday morning. When we suggested it may have had something to do with the mass quantity he ate yesterday he said no one could get sick from such good food.

On our way home we stopped at a bookstore to let the children buy some books in Russian/Ukrainian. We got the entire set of Harry Potter books for a low price.

The Dodges had a very nice apartment here, including a washing machine. So they invited us over to do our laundry, watch a movie and help them consume their leftover food before they were to leave Sunday morning.

Sunday morning we stopped by to see the Dodges off on our way to church in the city center. It's nice to see somebody actually leave for home. We will check with the embassy in the morning to see if the children's visas are ready. If so, we will immediately make plans for a Tuesday departure. If not, we will have to abandon our Delta tickets and work with other airlines in order to return before the weekend.

We left for Kiev at 3:30 am today with high hopes but a pinch of reality. We arrived first at the medical center in Kiev for examinations of the children. We were first in line and hoped that fast would help us have an advantage at the US Embassy later. It worked to a point. We were first also at the embassy, but as expected things there were typically rough. They were willing to take us on a walk-in basis, but people with appointments had priority. They did review our case in the end and our paperwork was satisfactory. However, a new wrinkle was tossed at us of which no one in our camp was aware. That is, (anyone already cynical about government regulations, prepare to be more so) there is a stipulation that anyone 16 or older appying for a visa be checked for criminal background in the US before being granted a visa. This takes 24-48 hours to accomplish. So, our sweet Jennifer who has never been to the US must undergo this check! We may hear as early as Monday morning that she is clear or it could be Tuesday morning. We must wait for that report. Then we can make firm plans for our return.

So we are settled in our apartment on the left bank of the Dnipro River. It's convenient to the market, transportation and the internet. It has three rooms and sleeps six. Natalie also will be staying with us for the duration.

When I returned from the local Delta office frustrated at trying to look into options for travel next week, Jennifer had made delicious omelets for everyone. She's a gem.

We plan to relax and make the best of being here. It is considerably warmer that Sumy. We plan to do souvenir shopping tomorrow and find some activiy for the children - perhaps the circus.

We miss home, family and friends.

Thursday, Part B:

The children have their passports. We are leaving for Kiev at 3:30 am Friday and hope to complete everything there in one day. While it is possible, a lot of cooperation is required. Everybody is expected to cooperate except, ironically, the US Embassy. They are notoriously the most difficult; but it may work. Stay tuned. Jennifer is very excited. The boys are surely excited, but apparently less so than Jennifer. Susan and I are homesick and anxious to start our new life.

We received word Wednesday afternoon that Vladimir had successfully completed the business of obtaining new birth certificates for Dasha and Toli in Russia and was on his way back to Sumy, which is about a 17-hour drive. We now know that the children are ours, they all have new names that end in Peckham, and we will soon be traveling home together. Exactly when that will be is yet unknown. We are so relieved and grateful. Prayers have been answered all along the way. We are grateful for the tremendous support from family and friends.

On Wednesday the children shopped for cards for their group parents and the music teacher who all meant a great deal to them. We visited the school in the early evening hoping to catch the children’s friends who were to return from the 5-day holiday. Some were there; others had not yet returned. The children delivered the cards and gifts to their group parents. With Natalie’s help Susan and I visited with Valentina, Dasha’s and Stan’s group Mom, about the children’s strengths and weaknesses.

We have felt that our children here have been watched over by Heavenly Father and that part of that was their being placed in the group led by Valentina and Alexander, her husband. This couple has been through two cycles, each of which consists of taking a group of children from 6th through 9th grades. Stan and Dasha had been assigned to their group four years ago when they arrived at the school. We learned that Dasha had naturally been assigned to a higher grade at that time, but Stan cried and cried over being separated from Dasha. So Dasha consented to stay back with him in the lower grade. Had Dasha stayed in the older group she would have moved on from the school a year ago.

Valentina and Alexander had truly cared for the children in their group. They had taught them right from wrong, helped them through personal challenges, advised them on relationships, and taught them by precept and example of the need to abstain from alcohol and tobacco. Not all group parents do all of these things.

Valentina gave us insight into the children’s character, attitudes and behavior, many of which we had already observed and some which clarified or explained other things we had not fully understood. She talked of the type of strong bond among these three children, which is uncommon among sibling groups at boarding schools. When the children stayed with Grandma Nina in the village during the summer, their friends there were surprised that these children from a boarding school were so uncharacteristically well-mannered and that they did not smoke or swear.

Dasha had told Natalie earlier in the day of how in her second year at the school she had
noticed other children being adopted. She had then begun praying that she and her siblings would be adopted. Of course, it didn’t happen until the fourth year, but she had continued to pray for it all that time.

We bid farewell to the Dodges as they were leaving for Kiev at 4 am Thursday. We have enjoyed getting to know them and their new daughters. We are happy for them that they are on their way home. We are anxious to see what Vladimir has to say later today about the plans and possibilities for us.

Thursday, Part A:

Things are moving fast and furiously and we are not certain when we will have our next opportunity to post a blog. Vladimir returned from Russia late last night and wanted us to be to the notary at 10:30 this morning to start the passport process for the children. There is a real possiblity that we will be traveling to Kiev early Friday. There is a very best case scenario that has our Kiev business (medical center, interview, visas) completed tomorrow and we fly home as scheduled on Saturday, IF we can get the children scheduled on the same flight. The probability seems remote to me, but stranger things have happened here. We'll keep all informed.

Spring has sprung in Sumy. Until a couple of days ago the exposed corroded pipes and mineral deposits in the city fountains yielded the appearance of the many other neglected structures of the city. Three weeks ago the surrounding garden areas appeared barren and the trees lining the streets and rivers dormant. Now the fountains are flowing, the gardens have sprung up in tulips, the birches are releasing their foliage, and the chestnut trees are about to blossom. They probably already have in Kiev. We hope to see them there in a few days.

Through the cold and snowy weather of today springs hope of warmer times in the not too distant future. We ventured out in between blizzards to buy provisions at the outdoor market which was surprisingly active.

While Susan and I were at the internet café this morning Dasha made an omelet for the boys and had everything cleaned up by the time we returned. If Susan would let her she would probably run the kitchen. The two are very comfortable together and communicate quite well in that territory. We have only four chairs so one person must stand or sit elsewhere. Dasha is insistent that it be she. Susan and I are usually the last to finish eating. Before we are done the others’ dishes have been washed and by the time we stand up ours are done. We want it very clear to Edward and Richard that this will not relieve them of their regular responsibilities for dishes.

Stan has taken it on himself to take the garbage out when he sees the need. An ironing board arrived today. Each of the children could be seen pressing our clothes today; and they do it well.

Toli wanted to go to the amusement park but it was just not realistic to expect that to be a pleasant activity. We spent most of the day eating, watching soccer on the television, and wrestling (we boys, that is). Susan and I managed to get out early this evening for an hour’s walk eastward along Xarkhiv Boulevard, admiring a few majestic rebuilt homes, as well as rustic, older buildings just oozing with character and mystery from within their walls.

Wednesday is a big day for us with Vladimir taking care of business in Russia. Our focus and prayers will be on him.

Sunday 29 April

As the internet café is on the way to the church we took the children with us and took care of the daily business there. We enjoyed a good sacrament meeting and again watched a session of General Conference dubbed in Russian. This time it was the Saturday afternoon session which we had watched in Kiev. It had an even greater impact on me than it did the first time; and again tears welled up at Elder McConkie’s final testimony and at the closing song, “The Spirit of God.” Dasha prepared some peelmenni for a snack after church.

After some relaxation and reading we met at the Dodges’ apartment for dinner with the missionaries. Before dessert the missionaries gave a lesson. Anny Tyutyunnyk took a turn teaching and bore fervent, emotional testimony several times. Stan had been suffering from a stomach problem since morning. Susan and he returned to the apartment while the rest of us further discussed the lesson and had dessert. Dasha called her father’s brother, Valeri, in Krolevets and talked to his wife, Olga, to see if we could visit Grandma in the nearby village tomorrow. Olga urged us to take the earliest bus and they would be waiting for us.

When we had all returned to our apartment we found that Stan was doing no better, in spite of his having taken several of the usual stomach medications through the day. Pharmacies were closed and we had no translator anyway, so I asked Paul to come over and help me give Stan a priesthood blessing. The blessing started with “Jeremy Stanislav Peckham, … .”


Monday April 30

Lacking an alarm clock Susan and I spent much of the night checking our watches and dreaming about getting up early. At one point I was having considerable difficulty trying to find my way out of Trolley Square (we never go there!) because I needed to be at the bus stop in Sumy at 6:10 am. It seemed improbable that I could make it so I consciously pulled out of that dream.

I reality we caught our scheduled taxi at 6 am and met Natalie at the bus terminal at 6:10 to buy tickets. We expected the 6:40 bus to get us to Krolevets in about two hours. We were not aware of the circuitous route it would take and the long stops along the way. We got off the bus close to 11:30 and were told by Dasha that we were in front of her uncle’s apartment building. It looked much like ours and every other in this part of the country.

We ascended the stairs to the 5th floor and were warmly greeted, introduced and welcomed by Valeri, Olga and their two children. Their one-bedroom apartment was nicely decorated, especially the living room where a make-shift table had been set for the ten of us. Olga and her daughter brought freshly-fried eggs to complete the offering of sausage, bread, hashed potatoes, their version of a chili sauce, home-made cherry compote juice, sliced oranges and lemons, and cookies.

We enjoyed the meal very much and even more so the company. We became acquainted with them, and they with us, around the table. Valeri is a warehouse worker and Olga teaches kindergarten. Their daughter, Anya, had just completed professional training as a cook and confectioner, with a specialty of cakes.

Some of us then gathered as Anya took us through several large albums of family pictures. Those involving our children, their parents or their grandma were pulled out so I could film them.

We had brought a pedigree chart and a family group sheet which Olga consented to fill out to the best of her and Valeri’s knowledge. While we were thus engaged, Grandma called and wanted to talk to the children. She began crying while talking to Stan. We offered to have a taxi bring her to Valeri’s place but she said she would just cry. I said that she could cry there or cry here; it didn’t matter. We knew the children needed to see her and say good-bye, so we piled into and taxi and Valeri’s car and traveled the 12 kilometers to her home in Buyvalovo village.

When we entered the fenced yard there appeared Grandma Nina in her dress, sweater, wool stockings and her brightly colored head scarf. Susan and I were a little apprehensive about what she would think of us and the adoption. But she took us on a tour of her humble home and property, including the pigs, chickens and turkeys. There were apple trees, cherry trees and a kitchen garden, in addition to large field in which other things are planted. Of course, she had only outdoor plumbing.

She welcomed us into her living room. She stood less than five feet short. Her face and hands were weathered and worn by decades of maintaining a farm. Although she is only about fifty-eight years old we could see that life is hard here for the common people and the struggles have caused her to appear much older. In her eyes, though, was a sparkle amidst the light blue we’ve come to love in her grandchildren’s eyes. Her smile cut through what I imagined to be some sorrow at losses endured over the years to display some gold.

She showed us many of the pictures she had of the family, which I filmed, and added more information to the genealogy records. She then slipped outside and we followed her to her cellar where she emerged with a bag of large white chunks of what was identified as lard (maybe saltpork in our lexicon) which she prepared for us to take with us. Before she was done we also had a couple of dozen eggs from her chickens.

It was time for us to leave for the bus. After Grandma hugged each of the children good-bye we exchanged well-wishes with her. She was very excited that the children would learn to speak English like our interpreter, Natalie. We thanked her for her influence and blessing in our children’s lives. She clasped my head in her hand and as she shed tears she kissed my cheek maybe ten times in rapid succession. Then she did the same with Susan which brought tears to her eyes, as well. She told us what hard workers the children were, how much they had helped her and how much time they had spent with her. Then she kissed us the same way again, and then at least once more. I was incredulous at what I was feeling for these people after such a short time – two hours with Valeri’s family and one hour with Grandma Nina. She and I walked through the gate with our arms around each other. We hugged and kissed some more. She invited us all to please come back sometime.

At the bus station we took more pictures of Valeri’s family with us. Olga gave us two huge jars of her cherry compote, along with four jars of homemade jam. We arranged to take them to lunch while they are in Sumy on Friday to see what sex Anya’s baby will be, and then bid them a loving farewell.

All along the way on the ride back to Sumy we saw in the fields people from all towns and villages with shovels planting their annual crop of potatoes. This is the time when the staple of this country is planted. One of the issues noted in the court decree removing the rights of the children’s parents was the fact that the children were left with nothing to eat while the parents had failed to cultivate their land. Valeri and his family had put their planting off a day to host us.

A day or two ago I had expressed a sensation to Susan, which she echoed, of feeling as though we had been through years compressed into weeks. The depth and breadth of today’s unexpected experiences and emotions crossed years, if not generations, in a matter of three hours. We emerged from the wringer with a few tears dripping from the rollers.

What a great day in the end! We didn’t go to Stan’s soccer games this morning because we wanted to be available when Vladimir would say the new apartment was ready. When we hadn’t heard from him by 3 pm we decided we had had enough time without the children and rode the bus to the school.

We quickly found each other at the school (word gets around pretty quickly when the Americanskis show up) and asked Stan’s and Dasha’s teacher, Valentina, for permission to take the children home with us and have them sleep at our apartment. Mistaking our request for a final request to take them to the US forever at this time, never to be seen again, she became emotional until we broke through the language barrier a bit using a calendar to clarify that we were not yet going for good and that we would be visiting the school over the coming week. We could see that Dasha likewise misunderstood as we noticed a tear roll down her cheek. There is certainly a mixture of emotions tied to these events. We got her straightened around too and we all left for the bus stop.

As we were about to board the bus Vladimir showed up, told us the new apartment was ready, and drove us to it. A very nice place to live and accommodating of our little sub-family, it is just down the lane about 100 meters from the previous apartment where the Dodges remain. Susan was ecstatic to see a clothes washer. We transferred our belongings from the Dodges’ apartment to the new one and together went shopping for groceries.

We enjoyed walking, talking and observing together. The children were all very helpful in the shopping process, always looking out for our safety, happiness and well-being on their turf. We will return the favor when we return to the other side of the ocean. It brings on a warm feeling to be together. The sense of family, unity and permanence is much stronger than ever. Dasha organized the kitchen as we were putting groceries away.

The children were all anxious to shower – to be clean. They wanted their clothes washed. Dasha wanted to know where her copy of the Book of Mormon was and then told the boys to be sure to read it. After we had family prayer we hugged and kissed them before bed. They asked that we close their bedroom door. Soon Susan could hear one of the older children reading the Book of Mormon aloud to the others. A little while later there was some giggling and then peace. And that is what we feel today – peace, gratitude, love – a bit of heaven.

The first picture here was taken a the Easter celebration where Toli, Stand and other boys were performing a Ukrainian song/dance that Paul Dodge has nicknamed, "Lasagna, Lasagna!"

The second picture was taken at church on our first Sunday in Sumy.

The first photo shows Patty, Paula and Jeffrey Dodge with us in the lobby of the school. the second picture of Angela Dodge (13), Stan, Dasha, and Sasha Dodge (12).

Separate from the room in our apartment with the bath is the restroom, sometimes called a water closet here – a term we hadn’t seen or heard in years.

If there is a designation – and there usually is not – you may see “WC” on the door to the restroom. For instance, it is so designated at the McDonalds in Sumy. Where there are two such rooms you may see an upright triangle between a small circle and a small square suggesting a woman’s dress, or an inverted triangle arrangement indicating a man’s broad shoulder. These, of course, may be seen at home too. Last night in the city complex at Krolovets I was looking for such a room and was pointed toward a door that looked like it had an upright triangle adjacent to it. So I proceeded to the next door which had no indicator. Vladimir insisted, nyet, it was indeed the first door that I wanted, to the right of which at closer inspection was an upright rectangle which must have meant this was a unisex WC, of which I had heard. At an even closer view in this darkening hall it became evident that I had been looking at the black toggle switch that operates the light in the restroom.

We have had few problems with the light in our apartment’s 2-feet by 4-feet WC. WE concluded at first that the bulb was fine and that it was another electrical problem that we could not readily solve. The thought of using the room for the primary purpose for which it is intended, or for the other primary purpose(s) for which we use it of solitude and/or reading, brought to my mind an observation made by Groucho Marx: “Outside of a dog, man’s best friend is a book; inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” The bulb is fine and only needs occasional extra-firm tightening.

We went to the school this morning to watch the boys play soccer in a tournament among the Sumy region/province boarding schools (orphanages). The tournament last weekend was among the Sumy city schools, regular or boarding.

Nothing was happening and opening ceremonies were yet to begin, so we went downtown to a notary to assign power of attorney in Russia to Vladimir. When we returned to the school we found that Stan’s team had just begun playing. Toli would not be playing and was clearly disappointed. This was for the older boys. It was six-on-six on a small field and twenty-minute games. Stan did not play in the first game. He would play in their next game. We received repeated reports that this next game would be up following the game we were watching. He played in the last game of the day. It had been a sunny day, so we were hot and exhausted at waiting – not to mention famished at skipping lunch. Stan played will and his team won again

We took the children to the store for ice cream bars and soon left for the apartment to clean the boys up. We then crossed the street to the Chelentano Italian restaurant where we all had lasagna, salads and juices. While we were eating Susan took advantage of having a translator with us and had Natalie explain to the children the priority hierarchy of homework, chores and play. She also wanted them to understand that we know that at times they will be frustrated at the struggles with communication, that we will have special teachers for them this summer to teach them English before they enter school in the fall, and that we will be very patient and do all we can to help them learn English.

We then rode the bus to within a couple of miles of the school where the driver asked us all to get off. We boarded another bus immediately which took us a little closer to the school. We walked the children the rest of the way, hugged each one for each of their new siblings at home, and bid them good-night.

When we entered our apartment we found Vladimir and Natalie arranging with the Dodges an out-and-back trip to Kiev on Saturday. Their girls’ passports were ready and they could have their medical exams tomorrow and gain some valuable time. Furthermore, one of the teachers at the orphanage was going to be vacating her apartment near the school from Saturday through Thursday and going with her family to a village home for the holiday next week. Susan and I could move in there with our children for lower rent and return to this apartment when the Dodges leave on Thursday.
We stopped by the school to get directions and saw Dasha and Toli who jumped in glee for the opportunity to move in with us and move out of the school. We visited the apartment. It exemplified the conditions in which a teacher making $80 a month would live. It was livable but austere. We could do it and would find some adventure in seeing how people here live. It was seemingly our only opportunity to accommodate the five of us at this time. Vladimir, however, was concerned and felt it was substandard for us. As we were driving back to this apartment he pulled off to the side of the road and called our current landlord to see if he could make something work for us. He had a two-room apartment that would accommodate four people, but he could move a fold-out upholstered chair that converts into a bed into the apartment if we would pay the delivery costs. We agreed and were relieved. The new apartment is near this one. So we will be familiar with the area and have necessary businesses nearby. It would not necessitate another move while here; we could stay in it until we finally go to Kiev.

Our determination is to be together as a family and to put the children in a situation where they will have increased opportunity to try to communicate more in English, without crutches, in preparation for life at home in the US.

Wednesday, April 26

Again, Natalie brought all five of the children from the orphanage in the morning. The five Peckhams and Natalie met at the Post Office so Stan and Toli could have their photos taken for passports and several other needs in the process. Then we marched down the street a short way to the central market for the boys’ turn at shopping for clothes. It went quite well. We had to steer the boys occasionally toward American styles. They seemed happy at the end of it all.

The Dodges were meeting Liera and her twin daughters for lunch and their final get-together at McDonalds. Susan and I wanted Ukrainian fare for lunch; the children wanted American. We conceded to our children’s wish to eat at McDonalds as well. We returned to the apartment so the boys could show the girls what they got. All of the children wanted to wear their new clothes to school tomorrow and we consented.

As Susan and I returned from grocery shopping we came around the corner to the back of the apartment building to see Paul and Natalie supporting a man otherwise unable to stand on his own. They were walking away from our building. I ran over and took Natalies’s place and learned that this otherwise respectable looking man was inebriated and had been spotted trying to keep himself from collapsing by grasping at shrubs and then failing entirely. We walked him down the road a half mile to the approximate area of his supposed home, sat him on a bench and encouraged him to recline and sleep it off.

Vladimir arrived from Kiev a short while later and gave us birth certificates for the children and parental rights deprivation court documents for each parent, as well as translations for each. We read of the conditions that led the revocation of rights which confirmed what we had already been told. Vladimir also explained upcoming events and answered questions. We wanted to know if the US Embassy was going to be open on May 7, 8 or 10 around the May 9th Ukrainian holiday so we might anticipate even a tentative date of return to the US. Though he calls them every day they have not yet been able to tell him. We are trying to decide on when we will need separate apartments (i.e., when we will move the children from the orphanage to live with us). It may be as early as Friday. This single apartment is inadequate for all ten of us.


Thursday, April 27

It is now Friday and the three children are ours. Let’s rewind a bit.

Yesterday morning we met Natalie at the Internet where she printed out the remaining US immigration forms for us. A short while later we left for the school to meet with the Director, Viktor, where we planned to present our gifts to the school. To simplify this process a standardized amount had been added to our fees we paid before we came to Ukraine. Vladimir gave that amount back to us for this gift.

Paul and I went with the Director to make purchases that would fulfill requests of our children’s teachers and what the Director felt was otherwise most needed by the school. One of the teachers had requested a DVD player for her class. Another had requested three tents for class campouts. We purchased the player the Director wanted. He then wanted to provide Stan’s and Dasha’s class and another class each with a new sofa and chair set. He made the selections and we paid the money. We then paid for some seeds and plants for the school vegetable garden. The remaining money will be spent later on the tents.

We then had a little time to return to the apartment for a snack before Paul and I had to go with Vladimir and Natalie to the Notary at 4:45 pm to acknowledge the court decree and then travel to Krolovets and Schostka. Only one parent from each couple had to sign documents. Our feeling before we left the school was that our children were more lovey-dovey today than previously. There seems to be more confidence in their countenances than previously, probably due to the activities in which we’ve been engaged the past couple of days. They can probably see that things are becoming nailed down. There was likely a tentativeness and reservation in previous days. Today Dasha asked for our home address because she was giving her new name (Jennifer Peckham) and our address to her friends. That also shows more certainty in her attitude.

We had an appointment in Krolovets, the district that contains the Buyvalovo village in which Stan was born, at 7 pm. We made it in time and three women were in the office waiting for us. I signed Stan’s new birth certificate with his new name and with us as his parents and we left for Schostka to go through the same process for the Dodge girls. We arrived there before 9 pm and a woman arrived a short time later to take care of the process there. The Schostka office was closed on Thursday, so we assume that Vladimir had provided some kind of incentives out of our fees to get these people out after business hours and on a day off. We are grateful for that.

The court decree did not become official until today (Friday). Nevertheless, he was given the document early and everything done Thursday night was dated for Friday. That has bought us an extra day.

As of this (Friday) morning we are the proud parents of three more children, and Stan may now officially be called Stan. So we’ll begin to call him that – more officially.

I managed to extract from Vladimir what our current best-case scenario is for the remainder of the process. He would return from Russia late on May 3rd. Then we would need someone in the passport office here to be willing to work on Friday the 4th (normally they are closed on Fridays). Then we would travel to Kiev on Sunday, take care of medical exams on Monday, get visas, etc., at the US Embassy on Tuesday, and return home on Wednesday the 9th. We still don’t know whether these businesses in Kiev will be open on those days because of the national holiday on the 9th.

The top picture was taken in one of the bedrooms where we recorded the two oldest boys and the one sitting between them playing the saxophone. We think this is Alex Macbeth's old bedroom. The man with the guitar is the music teacher.

The next picture was at the Easter program. Our children are singing a rousing Ukrainian folk song accompanied by their teacher. You can see two loaves of Ukrainian Easter bread on the table and some colored brown eggs.

The bottom picture is the first group picture of the four of us on the first day at the school. Then another inside the school on a later date. The other is Susan, Dasha and one of Dasha's friends, Alena.

Natalie brought all five of the children from the orphanage in the morning. The three girls, their mothers and Natalie left to have passport photos taken and to shop for clothes at the large open central market. Stan and Toli stayed with me. I took them to buy fruit and cookies to get us through the day without the girls. We have seen how much they can put away, so I was going to need the boys to help me carry it all back. They are always eager to help us out when we’re buying things – and not in selfishness.

After lunch, Paul, Jeffrey, Stan, Toli and I walked to the amusement park we had visited on the day of the court. The girls were to return by 3 or 4 pm, so we let the boys play until it was time to return. It was a beautiful day, the first shirtsleeve weather day since we’ve been in Sumy.

The girls returned after 4 pm and the daughters did a fashion show of their new outfits. Susan said that Dasha had been eager and easy to please. The clerk had confirmed that in the US the pants may be worn low but the top must prevent any belly exposure, as the mothers had asserted. Exposure is the fashion here, so his comments were appreciated.

We returned the children to the school as dusk was approaching and watched the movie “Eight Below” to relax before bed.

It was nice today to be doing something toward to end game.

Here are a few shots of the children. One has all of us in Toli's group room. One is of the children at McDonalds, of course. The other is the initial meeting with Stan. We will try to post others each day now that we have English instructions.

Monday was another in a series of good days. The weather has been cold the past week. A local Ukrainian woman at church on Sunday commented how strange it is to be colder in Spring that it was in Winter. While overcast through most of the day the skies were withholding any precipitation. So Susan and I went for a walk along the Psel River which passes about a city block from our apartment. With its slow-moving waters and tree-lined banks it provides a peaceful retreat from the bustle of the nearby streets of the city center. We wish we had ventured along this path sooner. The surrounding civilization is shielded from sight and hearing. The broad, swept path is an easy stroll with no concern for dodging the people, debris or potholes that populate the city sidewalks and roads. The odd fisherman (not all were odd) could be seen with his simple rod and line dipped in the calmer water, while a trio of ducks paddled to shore. Birds were chirping; otherwise, silence, serenity and appreciation for nature.

We visited the children at the school with the primary purpose of determining what clothes they would need to tide them over until our arrival in the US. Among the three of our children the only item they possess is a sweater that belongs to Stan. He, of course, has outgrown everything we sent with him eighteen months ago.

The reality of leaving for the US seems to sinking in with the children. We talk more of the family and life at home and how it will be with these children there. They are all a delight to us. Toli has been one pleasant little guy this past week. Stan is helpful and tries to keep things positive with his sense of humor. Dasha is also helpful and trying her English a bit more. She continually expresses her concern that her departure will be delayed by the Russian. Natalie assures her, however, that all is being done to get her out of here as soon as possible. We have heard nothing to keep us from hoping for a simultaneous departure for us all.

Susan asked the children what they would like to do musically when we get home. Dasha wants to learn to play the guitar. We warned her of the possibility of swallowing a guitar pick. Stan wants to continue playing the trumpet. Toli wishes to play the piano.

We enjoy good health. We miss the family, the mountains and what we are certain is warmer weather in Utah; but we know there is an end almost in sight here. We are comfortable with the confines here and adapted to the brown water - or no water. Susan has discovered an abundance and variety of Ukrainian dark chocolate with interesting fillings, so she can abide awhile longer.

(Susan’s blog entry today)

Natalie and Annie were going to teach Patty and me how to make peelmeni (a meat filled dumpling) on Saturday. We spent the first part of the morning at the central market looking for a peelmenni form, which allows formation of 36 dumplings at one time. These open markets are really amazing. They keep them open all year and only close them if the temperature drops below 0 deg. F. They have every manufactured good you can think of in them. The only problem is that you have to wander around until you find the booth that has what you want in it. This particular market is made up of well over 1000 eight-by-six (average size) contiguous booths – that’s just the outdoor section. We counted 370 in just one row. There doesn’t seem to be any order to them. Indoors there are more innumerable booths, as well as a large gymnasium-sized room with counters of unrefrigerated meat for your selection. The fish are also very plentiful, including the boneless, meatless (!) variety. We haven’t figured what these are for. We finally found the form and of course it was in the last place that we looked.

After taking the form back to the apartment we caught the #4 bus for the school. As we walked up the drive to the school we could hear some of the younger students shout, “Americanski, Americanski!” They are all getting to know us and if the children aren’t waiting for us they run and find them shouting, “Dasha, Stan, Toli!” John and Annie took the children back to the apartment and Natalie and I got off at the supermarket to buy the meat for the dumplings. The children watched a movie while we gals made over 150 dumplings. Every one of them was eaten in a matter of minutes. The children are bottomless pits when it comes to food. They also ate 2 kilos of ice cream after the dumplings. Natalie says that the food that they get at the school isn’t prepared very well so not to be surprised that they like the food that we serve them. We really hope that this carries on back home.

On the way to the apartment Dasha told us through Natalie, our interpreter, the heartbreaking story of how the Suhozhenko children came to be at the orphanage. It was all that we could do to keep from crying on the bus. We really just want to love and cherish these children. We hope that we can help them heal from some of the hurts of their past. And yet they seem to be very happy and good natured children overall.

Sunday

The weather forecast for today was rain with some snow! Does spring ever come to Sumy? The boys had a soccer competition this morning. Their school team is doing very well. Out of 18 schools they are in the 5th place and they won both of the games they played today. They met us back at the apartment after the game. The girls came with Natalie to church with us. Back at the apartment it was a feeding frenzy. We just fixed something light because we invited the Missionaries for dinner and a message at 6:00 p.m. While we were waiting for the food to digest between meals Sasha asked Patty if they would be able to visit our children when we are all back home. They have developed a bond with each other that they didn’t have before. We find all of these children so delightful even though they may have their moments. After all they are still just children. After more food and a nice message from the Elders Natalie took the children back to the school after much resistance from them. John, Paul and I walked the children to the bus stop and bid them farewell until tomorrow. We went back to the apartment to see what the damage for the day was.

On Thursday we brought the children to our apartment. On the way we picked up some blinok crepes and ice cream treats for dinner. The children selected “Ice Age” for us to watch. Afterward, I prepared the Paul Dodge’s Rosetta Stone language instruction kit to let the children try it and to see if they enjoyed that method of learning English. They seemed to enjoy it fairly well. In fact, I couldn’t get Toli to stop when it was time to return to the school. Good! We found it in the county library system and ordered it to be held for us about the time we return home.

Last week as we were riding the bus to the school as usual, a well-dressed lady and her two twin daughters boarded the bus about halfway to the school. The lady in her black hat and long black dress coat reminded Paul of Mary Poppins. She appeared dignified, but not haughty. Her daughters were likewise well-dressed in matching modest dresses, coats and red bonnets. Patty Dodge noticed that they were talking among themselves about Patty. They rode the bus with us to the end of the route near the school. They got off first and remained ahead of us. We thought they might live in the upscale neighborhood adjacent to the school. They continued along our normal path into the schoolyard and stopped to talk to Dodges’ girls as though they knew them. Very curious. Dodges inquired and learned that one of the twins had been in the local hospital about six years ago with a very contagious ailment. Sasha, the younger of Dodges’ daughters-to-be was similarly afflicted and the two shared a room at the hospital. This woman, Valeria, became acquainted with and grew to love Sasha. She and her daughters had visited her and her older sister at the orphanage periodically ever since, bringing them treats and so forth. This was their purpose on that day. They had recognized the Dodges from pictures shown them by Sasha and Angela. This all was considered to be more than just coincidence. Valeria would be able to provide valuable information regarding Sasha and Angela and the Dodges would be able to thank her for her years of love and care for the girls.

The Dodges requested that they meet some evening to visit. They were invited to the lady’s apartment last night where she lives with her two daughters and her mother. Valeria is a nurse at the hospital and has been raising her daughters alone for the last five years. She had prepared an elegant spread of food, including borsch, of which they partook after she had offered a prayer on it. Paul videotaped the “interview” with her and we watched it with interest as she told in a humble manner the story of her involvement with the girls. She offered wisdom to Sasha and Angela to honor their parents that their days would be long upon the land. She is a devout Christian and there was a special countenance about her as she spoke. What a blessing she had been to these girls, though lacking the means to either adopt them or take on guardianship. She had certainly been a positive influence on them that has prepared them for this eventual adoption.

When we returned from posting the previous blog, we found Vladimir at our apartment briefing each family on the latest developments in their adoption process. It was our turn. He had found the document he needed in Krolovets on Wednesday. We also learned that he had processed the paper a week ago to change Dasha and Toli to Ukrainain citizens, which had made the Ukrainian court process a lot smoother. He was planning on being in Russia to obtain birth certificates on May 2. If he did not need a Sumy municipal representative present (e.g., the Inspector), he would fly there; otherwise they two would have to drive to save expenses. Then on his return we would out-process the children from the school, travel to Kiev for the children’s medical exams and visas, and travel together to the US. We would not make our currently planned departure of May 5. But things could be wrapped up early in the week of May 7. As we get closer we’ll be able to zero in a firm date.

We departed Thursday morning at six for Kiev. It was nice to see the phantoms or silhouettes of the night trip to Sumy in the daylight. The open roads were lined with tall, mostly deciduous trees, a small few of which were beginning to let some of their yellow leaves out.

The row of perhaps about 100,000 trees closest to the highway still showed the white paint applied to the lower four feet of the trunks for the dual purpose of celebrating Easter and protecting the trees from bores. In Sumy, even many of the street curbs and garden borders were likewise whitewashed for Easter.

Bordering the highway between the towns sat numerous little villages, each with a small row of mostly brick houses trimmed with blue, green or beige around the windows and doors, many with beige brick star-patterns studded in the primarily orange field, giving each some personality.
Scarved, bundled-up women worked in their garden plots that lack furrows because of the ample rainfall here. Such labor is not a hobby here; it’s a means of survival. One or two horses drawing wagons were seen plodding along the roadside. Much of the land is used for agriculture. Susan remarked that with the open fields between these villages we could as well be driving through Missouri or Iowa with the moderate undulations in their farming landscape. On the other hand, the villages reminded Susan of “Fiddler on the Roof.” “On the other hand …”, I was certain that I saw off in the distance beyond the trees, out in the middle of nowhere, what appeared to be immense rocket manufacturing or assembly facilities, right out of Canaveral or Vandenberg. I thought back to what Viktor had said about Ukraine’s prominent involvement in rocket manufacture for the Soviet Union. Hmmmm. On the other hand, I must have been wrong about what I thought I saw.

In almost every village stood a monument consisting of a military tank, a statue or a marker of some kind as memorial to victory in the war. With the war in mind we were cast back in time as we caught sight of a drab, vintage motorcycle with a sidecar turning off the highway.

We arrived at the US Embassy before 11 am. With expectations of a warm, American welcome there after weeks of limited English we were put off by the curt directions, with no attempt at our mother-tongue, of the security detail as we were screened. Everyone with whom we had to work there was Ukrainian. We were ushered off to the American Citizens section anticipating a friendlier and more helpful reception. We were disappointed again, especially at the cashier where we waited for fifteen minutes for her to show up, only to have her appear put-out by our presence. There was no acknowledgment, let alone an apology, for our delay. “Ask not what the government worker can do for you, but what you can do for her,” or something like that. She was clearly annoyed that we did not have the exact amount for her. Giving change was probably not in her job description. In contrast and to our relief, however, the young man who helped us with our fingerprints was very pleasant. He had a good American accent, having been schooled in Wisconsin and DC. A short while after we were finished there, Vern emerged, clearly drawn-out, fatigued and disappointed – again. Nanette’s fingerprints had not yet arrived as expected because they had not been e-mailed to the required special address, which had never been provided to Vern or Nanette. Another senseless delay.

With Natalie as our guide we rode the subway across town to a restaurant for a Ukrainian lunch. Susan thinks the long, steep, speedy escalators to the underworld, along with the subway itself – all for only ten cents – are a bargain to match any ride at a theme park. You do have to make sure you’re in the right flow of the masses getting on or off the subway or you may never get on or off! These are far more busy and crowded that those we rode in NYC.

We caught a 16-seat Mercedes bus at 4 pm, watched a few Russian movies, and arrived at our apartment before 9 pm. One of the movies took place in Thailand. The Thai was about all I understood of the screenplay. Dodges arrived at the same moment from dinner and we visited until time to retire for the night.

We left home three weeks ago. We hope we have less than that remaining on this journey.

We are inserting an extra blog today because we have learned that we need to go to Kiev tomorrow to be re-fingerprinted. Because of Vern Garrett's problem with his fingerprints expiring, thus causing his delayed return to the US, we thought to have our expiration dates verified. We contacted the US Embassy in Kiev today and were told that our fingerprints indeed expired in February of this year. It is good that we checked. We have enough time to have them redone tomorrow and be ready for a best-case scenario of departing as scheduled on May 5th. We leave very early in the morning and return late tomorrow evening.

Meanwhile we have also learned that Vladimir found the document he needed to link the children's mother's maiden name to her married name. One less possible glitch.

We visited with the children as usual today. Toli was going swimming with his class so we did not get to visit with him long. We mad arrangements with the music teacher to have a sopilka made for Dasha and to obtain recorded and sheet music for the songs that the children perform. We were asked and gave some money to Dasha's and Stan's teacher to purchase test preparation books for each of her students.

Next blog on Friday.

We are deeply touched by all of the thoughts, prayers and fasting in our behalf. How can it fail?

On Tuesday, we arrived a little later than usual at the school today. There was not the usual group of children anticipating our arrival this time. We found Stan and Toli behind the dormitory building involved in a soccer practice overseen by the soccer coach. We watched for about a half hour until we saw Dasha going to the store with the Dodges. We joined them. When the boys' soccer practice was over they joined us for ice cream at the store.

There was interest in wandering through the subdivision behind the school to examine the very large homes there. Because we had been told that government workers and bankers here are quite wealthy, Susan surmised that it must be they who lived in such homes. On the far side of the subdivision lies a cemetery, with well-kept fenced and gated gravesites, most of which have large erect stone markers, and most with a picture of the deceased etched or inset in the stone. Some sites are not marked, but almost all are decorated with brightly colored silk flowers. In the valley just down the hill from the cemetery sits a small marshy lake where Dasha, Stan and Toli go to catch fish, as they did with success last week. When we got back around to school, Toli showed up with a fat lip he had given himself with his own knee during the practice. We felt fortunate it was not caused by someone else. We left shortly thereafter with gratitude for the relative uneventfulness of the visit today.

Natalie had been receiving communiqués from Vladimir through the day. She reported that he has already been talking with regional authorities for Volgograd (Dasha’s and Toli’s birthplace) to find out what documents are required to change the children’s birth registrations. This revision is required first in order to have their birth certificates changed to show their new names with us as their parents. In laying out the requirements the authorities have not indicated that there is any delay associated with their recognition of the Ukraine court decision. While that is not conclusive, we remain optimistic.

We also learned that Dasha’s birth certificate shows her mother’s maiden name, whereas the document yielding parental rights to the state has her with her husband’s surname (Suhozhenko). A document linking the two must be found. Vladimir will go to Krolovets on Wednesday seeking the marriage certificate which should provide the link.

We obtained permission from the owner of the vacant apartment that was rented by Garretts to use the washing machine there before the new tenants arrive. We had a very small machine in the Kiev apartment. But here we have had to use the bathtub. Susan performs the Fill, Agitate and Rinse cycles in the tub and I am assigned the Spin cycle, which is performed by folding the article, grasping each end in one’s fists, and firmly spinning the fists in opposite rotations. Until late last week we hung our clothes to dry on a leftover slat of floor moulding laid between window sills on the balcony. Now we have a small rack the owner has provided. We still must use every pipe and radiator, the ironing board, and door and window handles.

The Day of the Court was all of wonderful, tenuous and eye-opening. The Dodges, Susan, Natalie and I caught the bus by our apartment at about 9 am to make our 9:30 appointment at the district court in downtown Sumy. We arrived at the courthouse and waited a few minutes outside for Vladimir to arrive with the five children from the school. He and Natalie had worked to prepare the children for the questions that they would likely be asked by the judge today. (We learned that Vladimir had also told Dasha of the possible delays due to her and Toli’s births in Russia and that it may take up to two months. He had also assured her that he would do all in his power to get her to America as soon as possible. Knowing that, I put off any hounding I was planning to do and will let things take their course. All I asked is that he inform us as soon as he has a feeling for how long the delay will be.)

We were all invited to enter the lobby inside where we waited until our turn. Susan, Vladimir, Natalie, our three children and I were called and ushered first into the large office/courtroom of the court’s chief judge, a stern-faced, middle-aged woman. We were directed to sit in the seven chairs against the far right wall. The judge sat near the wall opposite and about twenty feet away from us. Teeing off her broad desk was a long table at which sat a young female prosecutor and three assistants. Against the exterior wall between us and the judge were Viktor Ivanovich, the school’s director and the Inspector who had interviewed us at the school.

We had been told that frequently this court appearance is a mere formality that passes briefly. However, some intelligence acquired by Vladimir pointed to the chief judge’s presiding at ours. Knowing that this judge would be much more inquisitive than others, Natalie prepared us for the types of questions she might ask us. I asked Natalie to translate however she felt was appropriate regardless of what we said. That would not work, however, because there may be a decent understanding of English among the officials there.

The judge asked me, and then Susan, many personal information questions. Then she inquired about our decision to adopt, our ability to adopt and care for the children, our relationship with the children, and solutions to the language barrier. Then each of the children was asked to stand in turn and give personal information and to express their feelings about being adopted by us and going to America. Viktor was then asked to represent the school. He stated how long they been at the orphanage (since February 2003); that these are good children; and that they had never had any family visitors since they had arrived. The Inspector then stood and recommended that we be permitted to adopt the children, as she had seen us with them, and that the children were very happy with us. The prosecutor was asked if she had any questions (No). Did we have any? (No). We were escorted into an adjoining office to await deliberation, which took about two minutes. We re-entered the judge’s office where she rendered a favorable decision in our behalf. She informed is that we would have ten days to reconsider our decision to adopt these children (– as if! The decision was made eighteen months ago before we promised Stan that we would bring him, his sister and his brother to America to be part of our family. After that, there would be no reconsideration on our parts). After the ten days, the decision would be finalized. We were then dismissed. Dodges were called in next and their court also went well. Their girls stated that their natural mother had contacted them, but that all she was interested in was money from the Dodges.

We all rejoiced afterward and decided it was time to celebrate. We all went to the apartment so we parents could change out of our Sunday best. While we were changing Natalie took the children and Paul’s money and bought some roses for their new mothers. We then crossed the street to the pizza restaurant for lunch. While there we mentioned to Natalie that we intended to ask the children to tell us what they could of their genealogy. Natalie asked Dasha about her Grandma in Krolovets. Dasha said their mother shuttled them back and forth between their grandmas in Russia and Ukraine. Much of their lives were spent with their grandmas and she wished to see her paternal grandma in Krolovets (Stan’s birthplace) before we leave. We plan to go to Krolovets a week from Friday, when the ten days are up, to get Stan’s birth certificate, and will try to arrange a visit with her then. If it works, we will try to glean what we can of genealogical value on their father’s side. We may videotape the interview.

Most of the children wanted to go to a movie and to the fun park nearby. The next showing of the new Mr. Bean movie was three hours later. So we walked to the park which offered a couple of small car driving tracks, a trampoline, a boat pool, a castle with slides, and a man-eating inflated shark. The boys went for the latter – over and over – and then a couple of other rides. Toli wanted more, but I felt I had spent enough money at that point and that it was again time to let him know he could not have everything he wants when he wants it. I turned him down. He pouted and kept his distance from us. We all walked back to theater. On the way we stopped to get the kids some ice cream. Toli would not go in with us. Stan and Dasha bought some for him, but he was upset because it was the wrong kind. Furthermore, he was not going to see the movie and walked away around the large theater building. I soon followed to try to keep him within sight. Meanwhile, Susan had tracked him down. Natalie intervened. He told her he wanted to return to the school. No, Mom and Dad could not go with him; no, not even Natalie. Natalie called Vladimir, who is an authority figure to the children. He showed up a few minutes later. What he got out of Toli was that he is frightened to go to America because he is certain he won’t be able to learn English. Vladimir tried to give him confidence and told him that in six months Toli would be writing to him in English. Apparently, it worked and we all went in to the movie together. While this could be a significant part of the cause of his behavior, we feel he may have had a “past the point of no return” realization today. Limits imposed on him may have contributed to the snap into reality. So be it. What was difficult for us in this situation is that it happened in front of everyone and that there is little that we could do in such a setting because of the language barrier. We had to wait for someone else to find out what was wrong; and every translator came away with a different idea of what it was. We know that when we get them home it will also be a challenge, but we will be able to more privately and patiently determine what is going on and work to resolve it.

The movie was fun. We parted on good terms today. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Saturday 14 April 2007

If our destination here is within a mile or so we will usually walk. The San Remo internet café is about three quarters of a mile west of the apartment along the main drag that passes the north (front) side of the apartment building. That’s equivalent to walking from our South Jordan home north to the Maverik store, to which we never walk because it offers nothing of value except for gasoline; so walking there is pointless unless you’re pushing a car. Just before you get to San Remo is a very broad intersection that you may either cross over, if you dare, where one of the intersecting streets narrows; or you mamy cross under from any one of the corners. To do so, you descend about thirty steps to a totally unlit tunnel briefly reminiscent of the Paris sewers labyrinth as described by Victor Hugo, except that they are not as complex or as filled with excrement and rats – not quite. From the tunnel you may emerge at any one of the other three corners you wish, provided you can make the correct unlit turn under there. Susan will risk venturing halfway across the street, pausing on the lane dividing line while cars whiz by on either side, awaiting “safe” passage to the other side, rather than go under the street.

When we encountered such underground passages in Kiev they seemed like an idea that ought to picked up in the US. In contrast to Sumy’s tunnels, however, Kiev had installed businesses and even upscale malls along the passageways. There was nothing fearsome about them.

A couple of blocks west of the San Remo are McDonalds and the immense Eko Supermarket on opposite sides of the street corner. The ground level of the supermarket offers many of the usual items you would find in a grocery store. The three levels above offer pretty much everything else in the world you might want.

While Paul Dodge and I were completing our blog and e-mail business at San Remo Susan, Patty and Jeffrey walked to the supermarket to buy provisions for the weekend, especially for the big meal planned with guests after church on Sunday. The shopping carts at the supermarket are a little larger than the ones our grandchildren push around our house. But that’s all that would fit down the narrow aisles of the store. The girls were about ready to check out when I arrived. Going through the checkstand is an experience. The check sits in a comfortable chair wearing a paper hat that you might have seen on a clerk in a 1950s ice cream parlor. She only moves her arms to scan the items. Once the customer unloads some of the cart or basket and the clerk begins scanning, someone (else?) has to rush to the other end of the checkstand which collects the items for bagging. The trouble is this area is only about fifteen inches square. So it fills up and the items must be bagged and the bags set on the floor almost immediately. That is my job. I don’t know how one person alone with a sizeable amount of groceries could handle it without the hearing some unintelligible (to us) Ukrainian vituperative and a flip of her head indicating the problem that requires immediate resolution on the other end.

I loaded the bags as full as I could because the bags cost money. Susan usually has a store of them in her purse, but no this time. We each carried two or three bags a mile back to the apartment. We carried the bags up the dark, dank stairwell five flights to our room to avoid the darker, danker, 3’ x 3’ elevator, where a dog, cat, person, or all three, had relieved it(him/her)self.

After lunch we rode the bus to the school. Paul let the children watch “Lion King 1-1/2” on his portable DVD player in one of the group rooms. I caught a few winks. Afterward we took the children to the nearby store. They were expecting a sweet treat, but we only bought fruit for them this time. They were clearly disappointed and there was some subtle pouting. Later, however, we gave them each a package of candy to share with their classmates. We consciously wanted to help them learn that they will not always get everything they want when they want it.

When we returned to the apartment, Vern, Andrew and Natalie were there, having just arrived from Kiev to stay until Vern and Andrew fly to the US a week from Monday. We all went to the pizza place across the street for dinner. We now have seven people (three family units) living in this two-bedroom apartment. It will be a little crowded but we’ll all make it work.

Sunday 15 April 2007

We walked to church in downtown Sumy this morning and awaited the arrival of our children. They showed up a little late. It was testimony meeting today and a few sisters, the branch president and an elder bore their testimonies. Patty Dodge also bore her testimony to her new daughters and expressed her desire for them to be baptized. The Sunday School lesson was the DVD “Finding Faith in Christ” in Russian. It seemed to go over well. The combined youth meeting was also taught by Annie, one of our translators and a returned missionary. She taught about the priesthood and priesthood blessings. Vern, Paul and I each gave an experience with priesthood blessings. I talked about how my oldest sons gave us blessings before we left and how they gave us confidence that the adoption process here would go well. While we don’t know exactly how things will work out, we are certain it will be in accordance with the Lord’s will and will be best. The children were asked if they pray and they all answered, “Da.”

Natalie, the nonmember translator, shared some things with Patty and Susan. Natalie was trying to prepare the children for the court tomorrow as they will be asked if they want to be adopted by us and why. Dodges’ girls told her that they had prayed for a family, that they knew that Paul and Patty love them, and that they have never been treated this well by anyone in all their lives. Similarly, Dasha, Stan and Toli had prayed for a family. It was especially important to them that their new family be believers. They are comfortable with us in our home here. Dasha expressed that she feels like she has known us for a long time and that we are her real parents. This is all very heartwarming.

There was a little doctrinal meat and some unnecessary spices served before the children are even accustomed to milk. Hopefully, they do not try to assimilate everything but rather dwell on the simple truths shared today. They have been handed clear testimony. There can be no question in their minds now what our intentions are regarding their conversions. We’ll see how it goes from here.

Susan and Patty prepared a big dinner of rotisserie chicken, potatoes, vegetable salad, fruit salad, and cake to feed fourteen people (5 adults, 2 translators and 7 children). The challenge was that we have very few plates or silverware and no serving dishes. The children all ate heartily. They just enjoyed being in a home. We will meet the children at court tomorrow morning. We thank all for your prayers, faith and support!!

With the time available to ruminate at this stage of the process there can be a tendency to magnify petty annoyances into major issues. We therefore are trying to stay focused on our long-term purpose here in order to blur these more proximate concerns.

Yesterday we took the children to McDonalds for the third time. This is an eatery to which we seldom go to at home; in fact, it is one that Susan and I strenuously strive to avoid. But the children here find it an exceptional treat. It is almost always full. McDonalds would do well to add another restaurant in this city. As we were trying to leave McDonalds Dasha called out "Let's go Family Peckham!" It's good to hear them begin to refer to us all as a family.

Stan said that he needed some fishing line because he was going fishing in a lake near the school that night. Some of the boys catch fish on occasion and take them to the school kitchen to be cooked and eaten. I agreed to buy the line as it cost less than a dollar. While in the sporting goods store Toli indicated to me that he would like some new shoes. I tried to tell him that we would buy him some new shoes before we leave for America. A few moments later he saw some soccer gloves and asked me to buy him a pair. I told him “No.” We have the tendency to want to give them whatever they ask for because of the hardships and deprivation they have experienced. But we know it is not best for them. We also know it’s a challenge for these children to comprehend that their dreams and perceptions of our unlimited funds and their unrestricted access to them do not correspond with reality. Furthermore, working for something is a new concept for them.

Once we had returned to the school we handed a large bag of cookies that we had bought that morning to our children to distribute to their classmates.

We learned a day or two ago that Andrew, Vern and Nanette Garretts’ newly adopted son, could not get a passport to the US because Vern’s fingerprints had just expired. This is something that on one hand seems so ridiculous that it’s hard to believe our government would have such a silly regulation and that our embassy here would not waive it in this case. Then, on the other hand, I reflect on some of the US government people with whom I’ve dealt over the years and it makes perfect sense. So Vern and Andrew have had to delay their departure perhaps ten days while they await processing of Vern’s new fingerprints that may have changed over the last 18 months! Nanette left a few days ago so she could help with preparations for their son’s wedding in a couple of weeks.

While I’ve never been the least bit superstitious, I could make a mild case for Friday the 13th mishaps yesterday. As I was bending over to pick up the toothpaste that morning I felt something slip in my lower back. I slowly and carefully returned to vertical and seemed to feel it slip back into place. Vertical is comfortable; but sitting and rising therefrom is not. Later, as I was boarding the bus, the top of the low doorway removed part of my scalp, which was fortunately protected by my hat. The only real case that can be made is for my age, poor physical condition, and clumsiness.

We are anxiously anticipating our court date on Monday.

If you haven’t the stomach or time for minutiae you may be well-advised to skip today’s entry. We are experiencing what those before us have termed the “stagnation period” where little occurs or changes from day to day as we wait for the next event. The children are accustomed to our daily visits. The communication levels are insufficient to convey new sentiments to the children. To fight this we will begin playing games and such to occupy the time and to further explore their personalities. Toli seems to be his old sweet self that others had described to us. He's very playful, loving. He sees us from across the school grounds, yells "Papa!" and comes running or riding on his old bike. Stan's very agreeable and says yes to everything. He's just like Edward and Richard -- walking around with his headphones on, ingoring everything and everybody, including Dasha's "Suhozhenko!!" call that usually gets his attention when all else fails.

This morning we fumbled our way through purchasing produce and other needed items at the outdoor market down the street. Dasha’s and Stan’s teacher, Valentina Ivanovna, was to be celebrated on her birthday by her class yesterday; so, at the children’s request, we bought her a few red roses at the market.

We visited with the children, bought treats for them at the store by the school, and returned to the apartment. Susan cooked up some pork-filled dumplings, similar to some we had tried in Kiev, and served them with sour cream over the top as the Ukrainian kitchens do. Excellent! The children had indicated that they enjoy dumplings very much. So I translated what I could of the directions and we gave it a try in order to be ready to make some for the children on Sunday.

After dinner we watched the DVD of “Pursuit of Happyness”. I was not engrossed in the movie as I was alternatively reading a book and dozing off. But I must have gotten into it enough that when it was over I looked around the room and wondered, “What are we doing here?” Susan had a similar thing occur during the movie as she suddenly asked herself, "We are adopting what?" We felt as though we could have been watching the movie in the comfort of our home in South Jordan, or we were just visitng here briefly. Then we're sanpped in to this reality. We have had such a singular focus until know that we have constantly been aware of our purpose. For a moment we were distracted.

I have learned very little Russian, but I enjoy trying. On occasion I find myself attempting to form an expression in Russian. If it includes a word or phrase I don’t know, the word that will automatically come to mind will be the Thai equivalent – or once in awhile even French or German. It’s a strange phenomenon. So many aspects of life here remind me of Thailand.

In a related manner, I get twisted up trying to assess US dollar value of prices here. In Thailand the baht was valued at essentially 20 per dollar, with a value of 5 cents each. In Ukraine the grivnya is valued at close to 5 per dollar, or 20 cents each. My pea-brain plays tricks with this reversal and I find myself reflexively dividing or multiplying by 20 instead of 5 and getting things all mixed up.

Most every day several of us American Mormon boys enter the Сан Ремо (San Remo) bar that provides two things: booze and internet service consisting of a bank of eight computers. Lately Susan has ventured in with me. I post the blog, with Susan’s editing, Susan and I answer e-mails, and then we read a conference talk together. Elder Scott’s opening talk on prayer had special significance to us.

There is a chain of establishments we have noticed around town with the curious name of НЕВАДА (Nevada). It turns out that they are bookmakers. The one in front of our building has a large mural showing the Strip in Las Vegas. I was also curious about the preponderance of establishments named Ломбард (Lombard). I thought they must be some kind of fashion store. The direct translation of that word is “pawn shop”. We have not linked the name with the type of business. Perhaps someone can make the connection for us.

I have had a difficult time with the prohibition against whistling in public here. I had read about it before the trip. But sometimes it’s just so natural to get someone’s attention or just to whistle a happy tune.

We again spent the afternoon and early evening with the children. It was our plan to bring them back to the apartment for dinner and relaxation. We had arrived at the orphanage having been encouraged to witness the parting ceremonies that would surely jerk the tears. We had heard and imagined how hard it would be to watch the children left behind knowing with fair certainty that they would never see their friends again, while uncertain of their ever having the same opportunity to so exit life in the orphanage. After waiting for two hours such a thing did not seem to materialize. It turned out that the ceremony had taken place last Sunday. So it goes. We bade farewell to the Garretts and McGintys.

Vladimir was with them as he had been finalizing passport paperwork for these families. He informed us that we have a firm appointment with the Sumy court on Monday at 9:30 am. We have been told that the court is nothing to be concerned about – that it is in essence merely a formality, as approval to adopt has already been granted by the SDA. Still it is good news. Dodges learned today that their two girls had been called by their mother telling them she wanted the Dodges to pay her some money for adopting her daughters. Vladimir assured them that she would not be contacted and would not be an impediment to the adoption process.

We did take the children to our apartment, stopping at the small 10’ x 10’ box out front that makes eight different filled crépe varieties. We have been trying one type each day. We pulled out some fresh fruit and vegetables that we had purchased at the outdoor market that morning, along with some treats, and let them have at it. The children are accustomed to five “meals” a day at the orphanage: breakfast, 2nd breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper. A couple of them would actually be considered snacks. They would be missing the last two for the day. Not knowing how much they would miss out on we let them have what they wanted. Toli is a veritable bottomless pit. It will be interesting having three hungry teenagers at home again.

We let the children watch “Monsters, Inc.” and then returned them to the orphanage as they were required to be back by 8 pm.

It's hard to believe that we have only been with these children for a week. So much has occurred.

It’s a foggy morning over Sumy. While it’s not quite as flat as the Cape Canaveral area,, there are no mountains or hills as far as you can see. There are, of course, slight valleys along the rivers.

We are becoming accustomed to many of the sights and customs around here. We fit in well with our black leather coats. Most wear black or dark grey clothes and black leather seems to predominate. There are also what we would consider to be extremes in dress: long pointed shoes worn by women and men, some with extremely spiked heels; skin-tight clothing on the women; brightly colored hair, usually on older women - pink, red, orange, purple. Then you have the humble babushkas in their heavy coats and colorful scarves over their hair. Many adults have some gold teeth.

You take your life in your hands crossing the street here. Right of way in crosswalks or green lights cannot be assumed. There seem to be no driving regulations in the cities (or at least they are not adhered to nor enforced), nor are there lane markings. It reminds me of the free-for-all in Bangkok. Roads and sidewalks are in disrepair. They make potholes in Utah look like pinpricks. We do a lot of walking along muddy footpaths. We ride buses when we're not walking. They are privately owned and operated vehicles that seat between 10 and 16 or so people. But they hold a lot more than that. The smaller ones have about 4-feet vertical clearance. Nevertheless we find ourselves trying to stand in them. It's an adventure!

We don't drink the water here. Without a washing machine or dryer we (Susan) wash in the bathtub and dry on a slat place between the porch window sills with the windows open.

We learned some things yesterday. The language gap between us and our children here is enormous and sometimes impassible. Love can bridge a portion of it; but on occasion that is not enough. At the end of the day we bemoaned the fact that we have gone largely unaccompanied by a translator. This forces us to deal with what will surely be the situation when we return home, but there have been moments when crystal clear communication has been crucial and we have fallen short. We know that we must assess where the children really are in their understanding of English and we need to begin now to teach them some basics and proceed from there.

We wish now that we had brought the “For the Strength of Youth” booklets we ordered in Ukrainian. We had no idea that our relationship with them would develop so rapidly, and that our parental roles would become so necessary so soon. But here we are.

The plan our children had today was for us to take them to the market to buy a present from Dasha to her boyfriend, Maxim for his 15th birthday. Susan brought to my attention the closeness of this threesome and their unity in purpose and action yesterday, juxtaposed with the events of the day before with Toli’s free-spiritedness. Here they supported Dasha with a single focus on her pursuit. We struggled in communicating limits on spending and the appropriateness of certain gifts. We learned from this and will do better next time.

On the walk back to the school, Dasha saw some other children smoking, which is not unusual here, and told Susan that none of three of them smokes or drinks alcohol. Most adults and many children smoke and virtually everyone drinks vodka. It’s nice to know there are a couple of things we don’t have to worry about. On the other hand we are concerned about the apparent dulling of senses that has come to the children because of the ubiquity of what is clearly intended to be pornography, as well as risqué images that to our standards are clearly pornographic. On our first taxi ride in Kiev to the church there we noticed several religious icons on the dash board of the car. Just above them hanging from the rear-view mirror, however, was a picture of a mostly naked lady. It’s seems to be an accepted part of their culture that is offensive to our standards.

We did some grocery shopping today. There were approximately a gazillion (plus or minus a few) varieties of sausage from which to choose. We couldn’t read the labels, so we picked one fairly randomly. We'll let you know if it is any good.

When we returned to the apartment Susan cooked up some barley soup and egg salad sandwiches for dinner. Once the Dodges arrived, we watched the “Testaments” movie together and explored the DVD to see that the Ukrainian presentation was voiced over in Ukrainian with English subtitles. We will likely have the children watch it on Sunday. We chatted until almost midnight and retired for the night.

Susan came down with a cold with Sunday night. With the temperatures of yesterday that was not good. Fortunately it seems to be improving. We did not do the usual walking around outside all day that might have worsened her health.

Today was to be an education for the children and us. We left for the school in time to be there to record several boys playing their saxophones for Jacob Macbeth. That done, I was coaxed into playing a game of indoor soccer with Stan, Toli and some other boys. At my first stretch for the ball within 10 seconds of beginning I pulled a muscle in my calf. It was unthinkable to shame the boys by exiting that soon from the game, so I toughed it out for another 45 minutes or so. I felt bad because the boys were probably hoping they would have a dad with 45 years of soccer experience who could make them proud. Rather, they have a fat, gimpy old man.

After I had cooled down Susan invited the children to go with us to the little store behind the school. On our way back to the school with our treats Dasha began giving Toli a tongue-lashing that escalated to a shouting match, a chase and quite an altercation. This was a side of Dasha to which we had not yet been exposed. What was it all about? Who was out of control there? We wanted and even briefly tried to quell the conflict, but Dasha was not finished. Eventually, Toli skulked away out of sight by himself. When Susan asked Dasha what had happened she explained it in clear Ukrainian exasperation. So the mystery remained. We soon found Natalie, our interpreter, and asked her to inquire of Dasha regarding the confrontation. Evidently Toli had said some bad words. His sweet behavior had changed while at the other orphanage the past few months. Dasha was not going to have it and was trying to rein him in. Exactly what she told him can only be imagined, with their long hoped-for parents right there witnessing this and the children’s future apparently hanging in the balance. Meanwhile, Stan had tried to intercede and defuse the situation. He tried to indicate to us that it was no big deal. Susan and I went around behind the school building to find Toli. On the one hand we wanted to let him know we love him. Alternatively, we were willing to let him feel the heat of Dasha’s diatribe for a period of time. When Toli saw us coming he headed out of sight.

From this encounter we learned some significant things about their personalities and the family dynamic that has existed over the past years. Dasha, primarily, and Stan to some extent have been trying to keep this family threesome together. Others have expressed that they are the benchmark for sibling closeness at the orphanage.

We had Natalie explain to Dasha what our standards are with respect to foul language and that we will not allow it. We soon hugged and expressed our love for her. As we were about to leave for the day Dasha asked, “You come tomorrow?” We surmised that she was concerned that the conflagration today would dissuade us from accepting them into our family. We answered emphatically, “Yes! Every day!”

Toli had shown up again and was venturing closer to us as he played ball. We saw Natalie approach him and hopefully tell him what we had asked her to convey: that we do not tolerate bad language in our home. After we felt that statement had been made we wanted to let him know that we love him, and did so.

This was an eye-opener to the potential problems we could encounter when we get home with the language barrier. We do have some resources to call on if (when) it does happen.